As human beings, we tend to naturally attach significance to anniversaries. And given that we're creeping up on the one-year mark since the first COVID lockdown here in Ontario, I'm noticing that a lot of the people around me, and I myself, are all feeling the impact of adjusting and readjusting to the past year. This new version of "normal" essentially requires that we stop expecting any actual normalcy; the moment we feel anchored in one set of expectations, the situation changes and we have to readjust (again).
For many of us these days, we judge how we're functioning based on this new "COVID-Normal" instead of the outdated "Pre-COVID-Normal". The problem with this approach is that it's too shallow an assessment of our well-being to be effective over the long-term; it allows for responses like "I'm fine!", even when the speaker is far from fine, which can lead to poor coping and emotional dysregulation; it unfairly marginalizes the emotional responses that we're glossing over, and therefore it unfairly marginalizes *ourselves* for having those emotional responses.
In a situation like this, one of the most reliable ways to anchor ourselves (ie, to emotionally self-regulate again) is to acknowledge the impact of the changes we've gone through... *acknowledge our own emotions*... feel the feelings... name what they are. Whether we journal about them, talk to a close friend, say the words aloud to ourselves in the mirror, speak them in our heads, bring them up in therapy, or any other means of validating our emotions, I encourage you (and myself) to make room for them! Allow yourself the respect and grace to acknowledge that this pandemic has had a toll on yourself, just like it has impacted every other human alive right now, even if that impact looks different for each individual. Bring the emotions out into the light, where they won't look quite so scary; give them the attention they deserve. Say the words: Anger, sadness, boredom, grief, gratitude, exhaustion, guilt, relief, shame, loneliness, fear. Let yourself feel the impact behind them. If nothing else, you won't be marginalizing yourself for your (very natural) human responses.
Allow those emotions to anchor you to your own humanity and to the humanity of every other person who is trying to figure out what the hell happened over this past year... and then, when you're ready, look to the horizon and continue the journey, until you need to lower the anchor again.
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